Monday, September 05, 2005

The Boo Is Gone

We lost The Boo again yesterday.

Same thing as last time. Big storm, major thunder and lightning. And for some strange reason in his addlepated half-brain, The Boo squeezed out the gate to look for comfort and security heaven knows where.

I was in church when the storm hit, and I was desperately praying that Boo still be there when we got back. But he wasn't.

I am drowning in rage. Rage against myself. I should have made The Hubby cover the fence with chickenwire. I should have done it myself. I should have gotten him a collar with my number and a "Reward for my return" note. I should have...I should have...Why didn't I? I don't know. I am filled with sorrow and anger and regret.

I'm trying to think what God is teaching me this time. Is it because I love Boo more than I respect The Hubby's authority on this matter? I have never totally accepted The Hubby's decision to keep Boo out during storms--I pout, I follow with a heavy heart, I constantly argue with The Hubby on this point.

Is it something more practical, like procrastination? Or rather dealing with procrastination. I should have fixed the fences right away, but there was always some excuse not to.

Or could it be that there is nothing to be learned this time? That it's really a faith thing. Having faith that God has better plans for everything, even for The Boo. It has to be. I have to have faith. Because I can't bear to think of the other alternatives.

I pray that wherever The Boo is, they love him as much I do. And that he's safe and sound indoors.


Earthbound Angel said...

oh. that is sooo sad. im sorry... :(

mai said...

Argh. :(

Sometimes they come back. I hope he
is loved wherever he is.