Friday, February 17, 2006

Things You Can Do with Mighty-Bonded Hands

Last night, in a moment of supreme duh-ness, I Mighty Bonded my fingers together.

I actually just wanted to repair my favorite pair of sandals. But the darn Mighty Bond wasn't coming out of the tube, so I squeezed harder and--shpleck--it overflowed, making the tube stick to the fingers of my right hand.

I yanked the tube off with my left hand, and yup, you guessed it. The tube stuck to my left hand. I tried to shake it off, and the tube went flying to the floor. But now my left thumb and index finger were glued together in a perpetual OK sign.

At that moment, I was overwhelmed by curiosity. Like how will it feel to have only three functioning fingers and no thumb? So I tried picking up various things, like the tube of Mighty Bond on the floor. Can't say last night was one of my more brilliant moments. More Mighty Bond spread around my other fingers, and yes, the tube got stuck to my hand once more.

With the tube stuck to me, I could easily read the warning: Eye and skin irritant. Instantly bonds skin. Like, wow. I didn't know that. It also said that in case of skin contact, remove with acetone. This does not work. I am now stuck with Mighty-Bonded hands (at least I managed to pry my thumb and finger apart with minimal pain--I figured that it would be more painful to pry them apart when the glue has completely dried).

Looking at the bright side, there are lots of useful things you can do with Mighty Bond coating your hands:

1. Exfoliate.
2. Really scratch that itch.
3. Sand down those rough edges on your table or stairs.
4. Remove lint from laundry, or even dog hair from the furniture.
5. Groom the dogs.
6. Commit a crime without leaving fingerprints (will double check with Grissom on this).

One thing that is hard to do, however, is shampoo. My hair kept getting caught on my fingers. And when that happens, the Mighty Bond coating tugs on the skin that it is firmly attached to, and it sort of hurts. So The Hubby shampooed my hair this morning.

I like The Hubby. I think I'll keep him Mighty Bonded to me forever.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Oh.

The other week, as I was about to get into an FX bound for Makati, the barker (the guy who skillfully makes passengers into sardines inside every FX and van) said to me, "Misis, dyan na lang kayo sa harap."

Just as I was about to take umbrage and shoot him a laser beam look, it hit me. I AM a 'misis'.

Oh.