Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Adventures in Motherhood, Chapter 1

Motherhood may sometimes be a lonely job, but you are rarely, ever, alone.

Take the bath I tried to sneak in the other day. I park Raine in front of her electronic nanny and zip into the bathroom. Madagascar is Raine's current favorite (she finds the scene where Alex the Lion bites Marty the Zebra's butt hilarious), so I assume that would give me enough time for a little pampering.

I had barely turned on the shower when I suddenly feel a cold draft. The door bangs open (should've locked it!) I hear "Mama!" And suddenly I'm shampooing to the melody of an enthusiastically played out-of-tune xylophone. OK, skip the conditioner.

Then total silence. Uh oh. I peek out of the curtains and I see Raine busy brushing her teeth. Well, sucking on her toothbrush is more like it. I figure that will buy me an extra five minutes, so I prepare my bath puff. Then there's a rustling of the shower curtains. "Boo!" she says, then disappears. She reappears on the other side. "Boo!" This happens several times. OK, fine. I'll just use plain soap today.

I peek out, and Raine is back to brushing her teeth. I hurriedly rinse off. I open my eyes and there is Raine right in front of me, with a huge smile, tugging off her shirt. "Aaaaack!" I scream, "Raine, get out, you're going to get wet!" She steps out wailing. OK, no post-bath body oil.

I towel dry, quickly. "Sorry, Raine, Mommy didn't mean to shout. You startled me, that's all...Raine?" And I step out of the shower, she's sniffling while brushing her teeth. When she sees me, she lightens up. "Mama." She lifts her hands to be carried.

Oh well. There'll be time enough for long baths when she grows up.