I wasn't built for rain. It stresses me out. I get obsessed looking for leaks (our house has several). When The Boo was still here, my stress levels were right through the roof, since rain, thunder and lightning terrified the poor guy. In fact, I lost The Boo during one such thunderstorm last August. (side story: last Saturday, we went to Tiendesitas, and I saw several Shih Tzus, I missed The Boo so much I got teary eyed). I also abhore getting my feet wet, so I avoid going out. Rainy days on end drive me crazy, sometimes even inspire me to write sort of morbid short stories. Too much rain gets me low.
This is also my first week of official SAHM-hood (Stay-At-Home-Mom). Though I still get a few calls on magazine-related stuff, I can see that tapering off by next week. It makes a real difference, not having deadlines hanging over my head. I don't get as stressed when Raine doesn't follow her nap schedule; we just play until she gets sleepy. Hmm. I don't know if that's good though, not having a firm schedule. I would like to train her to be more disciplined and consistent, to be much, much better than her Mommy.
I'm wondering what other SAHMs do, and how do they do it. Last Monday, Aling Lourdes was here, so I didn't have to do any chores, including breakfast and dinner. I just prepared The Hubby's packed lunch, told Aling Lourdes what to cook, and Raine and I kept each other company. Tuesday was just me and Raine. She was in a clingy mood in the evening, so I overcooked the dinner veggies, but I got the rest of the meals out fine, washed up, fixed up and cleaned a bit. Wednesday, Aling Lourdes was here again and she kicked us out so she could clean properly, so Raine and I went to visit my brother and sister in law. Then I prepared dinner in the evening. Today, I prepared breakfast, The Hubby's lunch, played with Raine, now that she's napping I'm blogging and thinking about what to cook for dinner. Is there something missing here? I feel that I should be doing so much more. Like baking cookies or making soap or writing a novel. Or organizing the finances. Hmm. Well. I could be doing those things if I weren't blogging...But let's say I didn't have Aling Lourdes, how do other SAHMs manage the entire household and a demanding baby? Makes me appreciate my mom even more.
I'm also wondering if I'm stimulating Raine enough. Isn't she getting bored with my company? We either play in bed, where she can stand holding onto her crib (and fall without really getting hurt); hang out in the living/dining room, where she commando crawls all over, or zips around in her psychedelic pink walker (she inherited it from her aunt!); or we go for a walk around the village (which we can't do when it rains). I would've wanted to make swimming a regular thing, but The Hubby is adamant that we don't go just the two of us. I read to her (Sandra Boynton's Bellybutton Book is her favorite), but mostly I just rough-stuff and harass her. Ehehe.
Raine's also in that phase that she wants me around all the time. And the later in the day it is, the nearer I have to be. In the morning I can leave her to play in the room while I do chores or take a quick shower. In the afternoons, I can be preparing dinner and she'll be hovering around, either crawling or in her walker. By early evening, she wants to be carried, or I have to be right beside her as she plays. So I'm learning that I have to prepare dinner early in the afternoon. And I guess that's the best time to do other things as well. Like my imaginary cookies, and the phantom gourmet spreads.
But back to SAHM-hood. I feel that I should be more productive somehow. The Hubby is out all day working so I can have this option to stay home. So I feel that he should be getting value for his money. Hmm. That doesn't sound quite right.
I remember what Louise, a SAHM with no nanny and no maid, said. She told me early on that at this point, I should focus on the baby. Anything else I get done beyond baby things is a bonus. Belle, another SAHM says that just because I don't go to an office, doesn't mean I'm not working. In fact, the home is my office, and I'm on call 24/7. She and her husband have agreed that she gets "off" times, when he takes charge of their two daughters while Belle reads or does whatever she wants for herself. I guess it's a balance that I still have to work out: Rainey, The Hubby and me. Right now, Raine takes most of my time and energy. Essentials like food and making sure that there's clean underwear in The Hubby's drawer come second. Me-and-Hubby time and me time--well, whatever we can sneak in.
I suppose I'll get better at this SAHM-hood. I'm sure that among the three of us, we can work out something that will make everyone happy and loved. Rainey Days and MomDays will not get me down.